Library
Search the Library for a word or phrase: 
Janet's story:
At the age of 51, Janet's husband died of Leukemia. Janet was left with two kids to raise and a feeling of utter hopelessness. With a little help, she was able to take the first steps towards a healthy future with her children. Here is her story…
Janet:
Jim and I had such a good life together. We were married 25 years and enjoyed doing all the same things: hiking, walking the dogs, being with our kids, going to the local symphony concerts. We were best friends. When he got sick, we were told he could probably beat it with chemotherapy.
After months of harsh treatments he went into remission, and we were told that his chances of survival were good. We went back to our lives and really tried to forget that he had cancer. One year later, the Leukemia came back, and he was gone within two months. It broke my heart, and the children were devastated. We hadn't really told them how sick he was, and they had a very difficult time accepting his death. My oldest daughter is 14 and facing a challenging time even without her father's death. My youngest boy is 9 and was very close to his father. We are all in shock.
There are days when I wake up in the morning and can't move. I hear the children up and running around, and I feel like I'm stuck in molasses. It's a supreme effort to get out of bed, to make breakfast, to get dressed. My children are suffering too. They need me.
When Jim died, I was left with enough money to survive, but I know I need to get a job - just to get out of the house. Right now, I can't even imagine going on with my life. I will do it for my children. But I need help.
I can't sleep at night. I leave the TV on in my room so I don't feel so alone. I can't eat. Food makes me sick to my stomach. The only thing I can keep down is ice cream. I can't even cry. I feel numb and scared.
Therapist Advice:
Janet, I'm going to teach you a meditation to do the first thing each morning when you wake up. I want you to immediately sit up in bed and try this. Fold your hands in your lap and repeat a prayer over and over in your mind, silently. You can use a prayer that you like or you can use the words God heals me. Just repeat it over and over silently for 20 minutes. Use the words to quiet your thoughts. Just gently push the worries, fears and painful thoughts from your mind as you repeat the calming words.
At the end of 20 minutes, hold your hands in front of your heart. Feel the pain that is inside of you. Experience it deeply. Cry with it. Sob with it. Then offer it up to God. Use your hands to symbolically take that pain from your heart and offer it up to God. Then calm yourself for a moment.
Now you'll be able to get out of bed, make breakfast and be more wholly present with your children. Only after you've begun to feel your pain and release it can you help your children do the same.
All of you should go to your local Hospice for grief counseling - once a week. This will help you move on and rebuild. Jim would want that for you.
I also want you to make some other daily regimen changes. You must do your daily meditation each morning when you awake. Then, each evening after dinner, you and your children and dogs MUST go for a 20-minute walk together. This little venture will be painful at first because it will remind you of walking with Jim. But it will eventually begin to heal wounds as you get outside together, breathe deeply, and get more fully back into your physical bodies again. It's a new healing ritual that you're creating for your family.
You must let your children cry. Encourage them to talk about Jim and how much they miss him. Let them express their anger at him for leaving you. This is all very normal and very healing. The more they can express their pain, the better they will heal. If it feels right, you can teach them the daily meditations also.
I would also suggest getting acupuncture treatments to help with grief. A good acupuncturist would know which points of your body to stimulate in order to aid your emotional healing.
Get Healthy Plan:
*There are dietary changes that would help you now. If you can't eat, make high protein smoothies and drink them. You need more protein and less sugar to stabilize you and reduce your mood swings. Think of sugar as your emotional enemy. It will cause you to feel much more depressed than you need to, because your body crashes after the sugar high. Eliminate sugar from all of your diet. And teach your children to do the same.
*Change your daily menus to reflect more fish, meat and fresh vegetables. Reduce carbohydrates since they also turn to sugar in your system. Think of yourself and your family as being in a survival situation right now. It's like you're climbing Mt. Everest. You need to eat for fuel and survival and eliminate anything that weakens you.
*That even goes for television. Don't allow yourself to watch shows that make you feel sad or scared. Allow yourself only comedies. Go to the video store and get several comedies. Watch them with your kids. Laughter can be your best medicine right now. It will heal you immensely.
*I want you to read the book, "Break Your Heart Wide Open" by Sue Frederick.
Here are some dietary supplements that may help stabilize your moods:
St. John 's wort for depression
B vitamins for Emotional Stability
Kava Kava to relax you at night
Chamomile tea before bed
Rose Aromatherapy massage oil on your skin at night
A good multi-vitamin/mineral supplement
Ignatia Homeopathic Remedy for loss
Flower Remedies for loss
Protein powder for your smoothies
Essential fatty acids to stabilize hormones
Janet's Personal Journal:
Today I tried the morning meditation. It was hard to get started. But once I sat up in bed and began to repeat my prayer I began to feel calmer.
I had the protein smoothie for breakfast. It had lots of B vitamins in it and immediately gave me a boost of energy. I felt less depressed.
I stayed away from sugar today, and that did make a difference. I felt more stable and less emotional. For dinner I had grilled salmon and salad, and it was the first meal I've been able to eat in weeks.
Our evening walk was painful. We all cried. But when we got home, our home felt lighter like we had lifted some of our heavy weight of sadness.
I guess I'll take it one day at a time.
Get Healthy Products:
St. John 's wort for depression
B vitamins for emotional stability
Kava Kava to relax you at night
Chamomile tea before bed
Rose Aromatherapy massage oil on your skin at night
A good multi-vitamin/mineral supplement
Ignatia Homeopathic Remedy for loss
Flower Remedies for loss
Flax Seed Oil (essential fatty acids)
Protein powder for your smoothies
Book: Break Your Heart Wide Open by Sue Frederick
Comedy Videos
Please send us your grief and loss story so that we can help you with your own Get-Healthy Plan. Email to: Sue@Holistic.com
|
|
|