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Joan's Story:
Joan is a Marketing Director for a large corporation. She is also the mother of two children ages 10 and 12. She is married to Jeff, a Chief Technology Officer for an internet company. They live in a beautiful home in a great neighborhood. However, things feel out of control for Joan lately as she struggles to balance high-pressure career and motherhood. Here is her story….
Joan:
I usually handle the pressure at my job okay during the day. But it's when I come home and the house is a mess and my family wants dinner and there are countless errands to do - that I feel completely overwhelmed. Being a mom is a full time job, so I really feel like I have two full-time jobs. I often yell at my kids and am worried that I'm not being a good mom. I'm also worried that I take my stress out on my husband.
The nights are the worst. After the kids are in bed, I try to clean up the house a bit, get lunches made for the next day and organize myself for the next day. By the time I get into bed, my husband is usually asleep. I envy him. I can't seem to relax, and I spend many nights tossing and turning. I'm quite used to being awake at two in the morning with my mind churning.
In the morning, I feel exhausted and have trouble being calm as I get the kids to school. I seem to function better during the day at the office. Then the cycle starts again when I get home. I need help. I really want to be a better mom to my children, and a more loving and calm wife as well.
The Therapist Says:
The first thing we can do is help you get a good night's sleep. This will help you get back in balance. I suggest that you drink a warm cup of herbal tea with chamomile at night before bed. Try an herbal tincture formula for sleep and drop a few drops into your tea.
There are also numerous homeopathic remedies you can find for sleeplessness. Try one of those just before you get into bed.
Most importantly, I want you to sit in a favorite chair for 20 minutes before bedtime. During that time you can pray or meditate to quiet your thoughts. Visualize how you want the next day to go. Visualize how you want your life to go.
Joan, you must fit some exercise into your day. This will help you get your stress levels down. Here's what I suggest. Bring some walking shoes to work and keep them in your office. During your lunch break just go out the door and walk 10 minutes in one direction, then turn around and walk 10 minutes back to the office. Then you can eat lunch at your desk. A 20-minute walk will do wonders for reducing stress.
Now there are practical things to do at home. Make some phone calls and see if you can find a reasonably priced house cleaner. Have this person come once a week to clean house. The money is worth it. You'll be calmer and a better mom if you're not so concerned about the condition of your home. And then let it go. When you get home, ignore the condition of your house and know that the housecleaner will fix it.
As you drive home from work, start getting yourself in the state of mind for seeing your family. Do an exercise for releasing the day's tensions as you drive. As each thought from your day enters your mind, exhale loudly and imagine tossing that thought out the window. Then spend a few minutes just breathing deeply as you pull into your driveway.
When you walk in the door, expect to find chaos. Ignore the chaos. Instead, focus on your children and husband. As you turn your attention away from the house, the chores, the laundry, you'll be able to open your heart and be fully present with your loved ones.
Now sit down and write up a list of family duties. These should include taking out the garbage, emptying the dishwasher, and doing a load of laundry. Now make a chart with each family member having a chore each day. Have a family meeting and explain your unhappiness (without blaming anyone). Ask each person what chore he or she could do each day to help you. Fill out the chart. You'll be amazed how well your children will pitch in when this is presented to them in a loving way. You can use rewards if you want to. However, I think it works well without rewards because the children want you to be a calmer more happy mom, and that will be their reward.
Create some Friday nights out with your husband. Use the time to reconnect and re-build the romance. When he feels that you two are in this together he'll be more willing to pitch in and help.
Personal Journal
Joan:
What a difference a good night's sleep makes - as well as a 20-minute walk. The herbal tea really calmed me and I slept like a baby. Today I walked during my lunch break and it felt great. Tonight I'll have a family meeting to discuss chores. At least I'm in a good frame of mind for that conversation after having had a good night's sleep.
Get Healthy Plan:
*Joan, you need to eat a high-protein diet and reduce sugar in order to maintain the high energy levels required for your two full-time jobs. Eliminate any sodas or sweets and instead drink teas and eat protein snacks such as nuts and cheese.
*Fish would be important for your diet. It contains essential fatty acids to help you stabilize moods and hormones.
*It would be helpful if you could make a smoothie for yourself each day that contains fresh fruit, yogurt, soy milk and some nutritional powder that's high in B-vitamins. Maybe that would be an easy nutritious breakfast for you during your high-stress mornings. B-vitamins are your best friend in combating stress. The more you can sneak them into your diet the better.
*And absolutely no caffeine past noon. If you need it in the morning, that's okay. However noon is your cut-off time for caffeine or it will definitely add to your sleeplessness.
The following supplements may be helpful:
*B-vitamin Stress formula supplement
*Good multi-vitamin mineral formula
*3,000 mg. Of vitamin C per day for stress
*Calcium supplement to calm the nerves
*Kava Kava herb tincture to relax you
*Chamomile tea for bedtime
*Homeopathic nerve formula
*Homeopathic sleep formula
*Ginseng for balancing your energy
Get Healthy Products:
Book: Simplify Your Life
Video: Yoga for Stress
Lavender Oil Aromatherapy for scenting bedroom at night
Relaxing Blend massage oil for skin
Rescue Remedy Flower Remedy for stress
Scented Candles for bedroom
B-vitamin Stress formula supplement
Good multi-vitamin mineral formula
3,000 mg. Of vitamin C per day for stress
Calcium supplement to calm the nerves
Kava Kava herb tincture to relax you
Chamomile tea for bedtime
Homeopathic nerve formula
Homeopathic sleep formula
Ginseng for balancing your energy
Please share your personal stress story with us so we can create a Get-Healthy Plan for you. Email to:
Sue@Holistic.com
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