The Therapist Says:
Karin, when Arthur comes toward you to have some intimate loving sexual connection then all you can feel is your anger in the form of wanting to push him away.
It will be important to learn to express your anger in a way that does not cause damage. But for right now, the most important thing is to give yourself the right to feel angry and then permission to express it.
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Relationships Workshop
Karin and Arthur have been married 5 years. They do not have any children yet. They came together because they both wanted a relationship that was based on their desire to grow together even if it was hard work. Karin is the public relations director of a large company and Arthur is a successful accountant.
Arthur has always enjoyed physical intimacy and thought his love for Karin would melt her reluctance to participate in frequent sexual interactions. Neither of them has been emotionally demonstrative in their previous relationships.
Karin:
I really love Arthur but we are having a major issue about sex. He wants me to want him and all I know is I feel pretty distant from him physically except occasionally when I feel horny myself. Even then when we have sex it doesn't feel like making love. When we are each doing our own thing I feel pretty content with our lives together. Then he wants to come into my space and I feel like pushing him away.
Arthur:
Karin and I have been married about 5 years now. We both have the same values about growing emotionally and spiritually. I want to have our sexual connection be an important part of our relationship. I used to feel electricity when I touched her but that is fading. I don't want to force her into anything but I need more intimate contact and I’m tired of feeling guilty about it.
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